My new adventure

after a while, when i was full of self doubt and so much pity, i did one thing. i found myself one night debating on whether i could put myself out there again even after heart break. its never easy and its never fun going through the motions. but by the end of the night, i was typing, just like i am now, but on an online dating site called ok cupid.
now, from past experience i kinda had an idea on how they worked out. i recently in the past had tried pof (another dating site) that worked kinda the same way. the ideals were the same but i was hoping the people weren't.

there i was. profile all filled out. rearranging my photos to try and myself look appealing to the opposite sex; which in my case is always tricky. the men i attract, well lets just say... they never turn out to be the nice guys i thought they once were. but i hoped for the best. i never used tried to be someone i'm not just to appeal to an-other persons ideals and what they were looking for. i was filled everything out honesty and all in my opinion regardless if the men didn't like it or not. and honestly, i think that's the best way to do it.

I've learned over the years not to try to change yourself just to impress someone, regardless of how good looking they are. i mean it doesn't mean put everything out on the table, leave a little room for mystery and for wicked conversation.
i thought maybe if i give this another shot it would work out for me the second time around. and i really am hoping it will. its hard sometimes. feeling like there has to be someone out there that gets you. its a big world and the internet has turned dating into a wonderful exciting thing that can be amazing and heartbreaking as well. its the adventure i have found myself in, trying to sort it all out and find a needle in the haystack of life.

when i found myself on ok cupid, half of mindset was on to find a great guy and the second half was to keep me preoccupied. seriously. i know its sounds kinda weird, i mean if i think its weird it probably is. but with my life right, i'm going with the flow of things and sometimes i just need my love life to do that preoccupied as well. its makes things feel a lot less empty.

now, I've yet to make up my mind on whether is idea of mine is a good one or bad one, but,  its trying something daring that makes everything, even love, much more. and isn't that human nature? to want more?